If you’ve got it all figured out emotionally and spiritually, this article ain’t for you. But for the sake of your friends who have a bit more figuring out to do, read ahead.
On the other hand, if you’re a single gal like me, trying to work on yourself so you could be the best you, continue reading and don’t stop until you’ve reached the end of this post.
Ayt, let’s get to it.
Here’s why taking a break from dating is the best thing for you and your future SO (Significant Other):
You get to focus on yourself
Being in a relationship is all about how to love your partner more and more each day. My recently married friend once told me, “Marriage is all about giving and giving. It’s about putting your husband’s well-being first before your own.”
Before you even start to think about seriously dating a person, I think we should all ask ourselves, “Do I understand myself well enough to be able to cater to the needs of another human being?”
Do you have a full understanding of your strengths, do you know how to handle your weaknesses? What are your priorities? What are your needs? What is your love language? What are your aspirations?
I’m a firm believer that to be able to understand another person, you need to have a clear grasp of who you are as a person.
You get to establish what you want and don’t want in a person
The question I really don’t like hearing is “Baka choosy ka lang masyado?” (Maybe you’re just too choosy) Well, duh, we’re not talking about what shade of lipstick I like best (And quite frankly that takes time too). We’re talking about choosing a person I could spend the rest of my life with! Of course I’ll be choosy. #DONTSETTLE
Anyway, the goal is not to seek for perfection. The goal is to find a person with the characteristics that are important to you. It’s not about demanding for someone with Zac Efron’s abs. It’s not about what car he’s driving (Make your own money, woman!!) We are looking for someone trustworthy, dependable, honest, loving, God fearing; do you get the picture?
And I know we all have our little quirks. People are imperfect. But you have to figure out what sort of imperfections you can live with. Let us drop the “maybe I can change him” fantasy. Gurl, that’s not gonna happen. So, FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T WANT. And stick with it.
You get to stock-up on self love
Being that person who constantly needs validation and assurance could be such a pain in the booty. No one wants that. So let’s all save each other from unnecessary drama and learn to love ourselves like how Kanye loves Beyonce.
Now that I’m single, I’ve learned to really enjoy my own company. That sounds weird, but whatever. Take yourself out on dates, travel (according to your budget), take classes, go to church, eat out alone, do whatever it is that you want. You have to be comfortable about being alone. No shame, just pure and good old confidence.
I aim to achieve a certain level of self esteem that no matter what mistake my future SO does, I wouldn’t take it as a hit to my self worth. When he does something wrong, I wanna be able to say “You’re imperfect and that’s okay. I love you so much but you gotta hurry up cause the pizza’s getting cold downstairs.” (Unless it’s like physical and emotional abuse)
It’s damn difficult to step away and say “this isn’t right, NOT JUST YET” especially when someone very ideal comes along. Personally, I know some may say that I’m just over thinking it or I’m being selfish, but I think being patient and making a conscious effort to be the best version of myself for that person is the most loving thing I can do.
So good luck to me (cry laughing), good luck to all of us!
God knows what’s up. Always remember that He is in control.